Sunday, October 31, 2010
Jimmy Johnson Calls for Favre's Retirement on NFL on FOX: Fired Up!
Week Eight Picks
Another post the morning of! I'm going to have to get it together once Thursday Night Football starts again. Anywho, those of you who were patient enough to read last week's picks on Sunday morning received the privilege of reading a mostly accurate list. We went 12-2 last week, it would have been perfect but who honestly would have picked Mangenius and the Browns to upset the Saints at home and... well, from the last two seasons the Raiders have won at Mile High.
This week Falcons, Ravens, Giants, and Eagles are on Byes. You know who else are on byes this week? The Browns, so Mangenius can rest his brain and upset someone else in Week Nine, and Da Bears, so that Cutler can learn the true colors of his teammates uniforms. (Read: DeAngelo Hall plays for the Sk!ns, you shouldn't throw to him four times in a game.)
The Craptastic Games of the Week go to:
Broncos @ 49ers
I hate the London games, whoever gets sent there each season has a crappy season all the way around. Maybe that's what McDaniels and Singletary can blame their teams' performances on. Even though they are across the pond, I think I can trust McDaniels and Orton to get it done more than Singletary and whoever the new QB is starting for him. Broncos win.
Jags @ Cowboys
Ugh. I really don't want to pick this game, but I'm going with the Jags. Each time I pick the Cowboys they lose miserably, even if they are playing in their new, fancy, schmancy stadium. Maybe Jerry Jones' head will actually explode today.
Bucs @ Cards
Both of these teams are a mess despite Raheem Morris saying that he had the best team in the NFC. Really? Anywho, the Cards have won both their previous games at home, and I bet they get it done today too.
Panthers @ Rams
The Rams are a better team all the way around and they'll pick up the win at home.
Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Dolphins @ Bengals
The Dolphins are playing well this year and the Bengals might finally have figured out what they have on offense. I still think the Fish will pull out the win after their aggravating loss last week to the Steelers. (By one point).
Bills @ Chiefs
Apparently the Bills offense actually competed against the Ravens last week. Apparently the Bills defense still sucks because they still lost to a mediocre Ravens offense. Even with their offensive line finally getting it together, they won't be able to hear each other in Arrowhead. Chiefs win.
Redsk!ns @ Lions
Stafford is back in for the Lions, they are well rested and ready to win one at home with their team intact again. The Sk!ns run hot and cold and won last week primarily because the Bears QB threw four passes to DeAngelo Hall. Lions win.
Titans @ Chargers
The Titans have a way of frustrating their opponents into making mistakes, the Chargers have a way of frustrating their fan base with their poor playing, poor coaching and bad calls. Titans will win this one on the road. Maybe Norvert Turner's head will explode. That would make me happy.
Seahawks @ Raiders
The Raiders haven't won back-to-back games since 2008. And while they mowed over the Broncos last week at Mile High (making it three seasons in a row). I'm betting they're the same old Faders again today. I'll take the Hawks to win on the road even though they aren't as strong of a road team as a home team.
The Fantastic Games go to:
All right, I'm putting four of the games here this week, and thankfully, two of them are Sunday Night and Monday Night Football. Sadly, Chris Collinsworth and Jon "Captain Obvious" Gruden will still be announcing.
Packers @ Jets
I think the Pack could go all the way this year barring too many injuries, alas, they have a lot of injuries this week and are on the road. I think the Jets beat the Pack.
Vikings @ Pats
I don't think that the Vikings will be that competitive. There's only so much a team can do with a moron for a coach who gets a $35,000 fine for whining about the officiating at his team's previous game and who talks smack about the Pats trading Randy Moss. Oh, and don't forget the antique QB who now has two fractures in his foot but is insisting on starting anyway. Puh-lease! Will Favre ever go away? Pats win this, even with Favre making his 292nd start.
Steelers @ Saints
Even though the Saints lost at home last week to the Browns... of all teams. I don't think they've entirely lost their touch. In spite of this, I still think the Steelers are a better team and will take home a win.
Texans @ Colts
The Texans handily beat the Colts in the first match up of the season. Kubiak admitted it was their Super Bowl and they had spent a lot of time planning for that game. I don't think they've had the time to plan for this one, and since the formation of the AFC South, no other team in the division has swept the Colts. I don't think it happens at Lucas Oil on Monday Night. Colts win.
This week Falcons, Ravens, Giants, and Eagles are on Byes. You know who else are on byes this week? The Browns, so Mangenius can rest his brain and upset someone else in Week Nine, and Da Bears, so that Cutler can learn the true colors of his teammates uniforms. (Read: DeAngelo Hall plays for the Sk!ns, you shouldn't throw to him four times in a game.)
The Craptastic Games of the Week go to:
Broncos @ 49ers
I hate the London games, whoever gets sent there each season has a crappy season all the way around. Maybe that's what McDaniels and Singletary can blame their teams' performances on. Even though they are across the pond, I think I can trust McDaniels and Orton to get it done more than Singletary and whoever the new QB is starting for him. Broncos win.
Jags @ Cowboys
Ugh. I really don't want to pick this game, but I'm going with the Jags. Each time I pick the Cowboys they lose miserably, even if they are playing in their new, fancy, schmancy stadium. Maybe Jerry Jones' head will actually explode today.
Bucs @ Cards
Both of these teams are a mess despite Raheem Morris saying that he had the best team in the NFC. Really? Anywho, the Cards have won both their previous games at home, and I bet they get it done today too.
Panthers @ Rams
The Rams are a better team all the way around and they'll pick up the win at home.
Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Dolphins @ Bengals
The Dolphins are playing well this year and the Bengals might finally have figured out what they have on offense. I still think the Fish will pull out the win after their aggravating loss last week to the Steelers. (By one point).
Bills @ Chiefs
Apparently the Bills offense actually competed against the Ravens last week. Apparently the Bills defense still sucks because they still lost to a mediocre Ravens offense. Even with their offensive line finally getting it together, they won't be able to hear each other in Arrowhead. Chiefs win.
Redsk!ns @ Lions
Stafford is back in for the Lions, they are well rested and ready to win one at home with their team intact again. The Sk!ns run hot and cold and won last week primarily because the Bears QB threw four passes to DeAngelo Hall. Lions win.
Titans @ Chargers
The Titans have a way of frustrating their opponents into making mistakes, the Chargers have a way of frustrating their fan base with their poor playing, poor coaching and bad calls. Titans will win this one on the road. Maybe Norvert Turner's head will explode. That would make me happy.
Seahawks @ Raiders
The Raiders haven't won back-to-back games since 2008. And while they mowed over the Broncos last week at Mile High (making it three seasons in a row). I'm betting they're the same old Faders again today. I'll take the Hawks to win on the road even though they aren't as strong of a road team as a home team.
The Fantastic Games go to:
All right, I'm putting four of the games here this week, and thankfully, two of them are Sunday Night and Monday Night Football. Sadly, Chris Collinsworth and Jon "Captain Obvious" Gruden will still be announcing.
Packers @ Jets
I think the Pack could go all the way this year barring too many injuries, alas, they have a lot of injuries this week and are on the road. I think the Jets beat the Pack.
Vikings @ Pats
I don't think that the Vikings will be that competitive. There's only so much a team can do with a moron for a coach who gets a $35,000 fine for whining about the officiating at his team's previous game and who talks smack about the Pats trading Randy Moss. Oh, and don't forget the antique QB who now has two fractures in his foot but is insisting on starting anyway. Puh-lease! Will Favre ever go away? Pats win this, even with Favre making his 292nd start.
Steelers @ Saints
Even though the Saints lost at home last week to the Browns... of all teams. I don't think they've entirely lost their touch. In spite of this, I still think the Steelers are a better team and will take home a win.
Texans @ Colts
The Texans handily beat the Colts in the first match up of the season. Kubiak admitted it was their Super Bowl and they had spent a lot of time planning for that game. I don't think they've had the time to plan for this one, and since the formation of the AFC South, no other team in the division has swept the Colts. I don't think it happens at Lucas Oil on Monday Night. Colts win.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Week Seven Picks
Don't worry, we're just going to post the morning of football. :) But with plenty of time to spare. This week we have the Lions, Texans, Colts, and Jets taking a well deserved break. And we also have some craptastic games to look forward to, (or not).
The Craptastic goes to:
Bills @ Ravens
Um, I have a feeling that the Ravens will win. Just a hunch, really.
49ers @ Panthers
The Panthers have QB Matt Moore and Receiver Steve Smith back in, and they are hoping not to go 0-6. I think they get it done against Singletary's mess this week.
Rams @ Bucs
The Rams have had some exciting, competitive games at home, but are still winless on the road. Bucs win.
Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Bengals @ Falcons
Apparently, Ochocinco and T.O. are too busy with their T.V. shows to contribute much of anything to this boring offense. The Falcons will want to redeem themselves this week after last week's loss. Dirty Birds win at home.
Jags @ Chiefs
The Jags are inconsistent already, but when they have to take on the Chiefs in Arrowhead they will fall apart. Chiefs win.
Browns @ Saints
Colt McCoy is getting his second start in the NFL. Too bad his coach is Mangenius-McCoy could be a future Brees if he had the right coaching. Brees and the Saints win easily at home.
Redsk!ns @ Bears
The Bears are not as good as people thought they were. They had a couple of lucky wins and Cutler gets to face the Coach that he pined for in Denver. Quote: "Nobody asked me about firing Shanahan." That's because you don't run the team, jackass. Anywho, Shanny will know how to get under his former QB's skin. Sk!ns win.
Eagles @ Titans
These two teams are inconsistent enough for me to not know which one to pick for this game. So what the hell, how about the Titans winning at home against Kevin Kolb and the Eagles.
Cardinals @ Seahawks
Two words: Qwest Field. The Hawks are unstoppable at home and they just came off their first big road win. They will easily hand the lost Cards another loss.
Pats @ Chargers
Phil Rivers scares me. Tom Brady's long sweaty locks scare me. The Patriots will come into Qualcomm's first sold out game and piss off a lot of Charger fans when they realize how fragile their injury-ridden team is. Pats win.
Raiders @ Broncos
The Broncos are better than their 2-4 score-they had a blowout win against Seattle, a tough road win in Tennessee and outplayed both the Colts and Jets in Denver-but lost those two games to lackluster red zone production and turnovers. If they crisp up their playing ability, they could turn their season around. They won't have to be too crisp today to get Tom Cable one step closer to getting fired. Broncos win.
Fantastic Games of the Week (and two of them happen to be both Sunday Night and Monday Night Games! Now if we can only do something about Chris Collinsworth and Jon "Captain Obvious" Gruden this woman's game night would be complete:
Steelers @ Dolphins
Both teams are playing tough this year, but the Fish have lost at home to two very good teams, the Pats and Jets. I think the Steelers will be able to beat them at home as well.
Vikings @ Packers
The Pack may be banged up, but they'll be sure to send purple Judas Favre and the Vikings hightailing it from Lambeau Field. By the way, Favre doesn't make the top 20 QBs in completion percentage, yards, yards-per-attempt, or QB rating. Great job on paying him all that dough, Chilly. Pack for the win.
Giants @ Cowboys
If you looked up lost in the dictionary you would see Wade Phillips picture next to it. He just came out this week and stated that he has the best 1-4 team in the League. Wow. So, you're better than, oh wait, you're the only team at 1-4, there are others at 1-5 and 0-5, but you are the ONLY team at 1-4, Wade. Great job on those math skills, or even looking at a standings chart. The G-men come in with their 1st rated defensive line and get it done.
The Craptastic goes to:
Bills @ Ravens
Um, I have a feeling that the Ravens will win. Just a hunch, really.
49ers @ Panthers
The Panthers have QB Matt Moore and Receiver Steve Smith back in, and they are hoping not to go 0-6. I think they get it done against Singletary's mess this week.
Rams @ Bucs
The Rams have had some exciting, competitive games at home, but are still winless on the road. Bucs win.
Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Bengals @ Falcons
Apparently, Ochocinco and T.O. are too busy with their T.V. shows to contribute much of anything to this boring offense. The Falcons will want to redeem themselves this week after last week's loss. Dirty Birds win at home.
Jags @ Chiefs
The Jags are inconsistent already, but when they have to take on the Chiefs in Arrowhead they will fall apart. Chiefs win.
Browns @ Saints
Colt McCoy is getting his second start in the NFL. Too bad his coach is Mangenius-McCoy could be a future Brees if he had the right coaching. Brees and the Saints win easily at home.
Redsk!ns @ Bears
The Bears are not as good as people thought they were. They had a couple of lucky wins and Cutler gets to face the Coach that he pined for in Denver. Quote: "Nobody asked me about firing Shanahan." That's because you don't run the team, jackass. Anywho, Shanny will know how to get under his former QB's skin. Sk!ns win.
Eagles @ Titans
These two teams are inconsistent enough for me to not know which one to pick for this game. So what the hell, how about the Titans winning at home against Kevin Kolb and the Eagles.
Cardinals @ Seahawks
Two words: Qwest Field. The Hawks are unstoppable at home and they just came off their first big road win. They will easily hand the lost Cards another loss.
Pats @ Chargers
Phil Rivers scares me. Tom Brady's long sweaty locks scare me. The Patriots will come into Qualcomm's first sold out game and piss off a lot of Charger fans when they realize how fragile their injury-ridden team is. Pats win.
Raiders @ Broncos
The Broncos are better than their 2-4 score-they had a blowout win against Seattle, a tough road win in Tennessee and outplayed both the Colts and Jets in Denver-but lost those two games to lackluster red zone production and turnovers. If they crisp up their playing ability, they could turn their season around. They won't have to be too crisp today to get Tom Cable one step closer to getting fired. Broncos win.
Fantastic Games of the Week (and two of them happen to be both Sunday Night and Monday Night Games! Now if we can only do something about Chris Collinsworth and Jon "Captain Obvious" Gruden this woman's game night would be complete:
Steelers @ Dolphins
Both teams are playing tough this year, but the Fish have lost at home to two very good teams, the Pats and Jets. I think the Steelers will be able to beat them at home as well.
Vikings @ Packers
The Pack may be banged up, but they'll be sure to send purple Judas Favre and the Vikings hightailing it from Lambeau Field. By the way, Favre doesn't make the top 20 QBs in completion percentage, yards, yards-per-attempt, or QB rating. Great job on paying him all that dough, Chilly. Pack for the win.
Giants @ Cowboys
If you looked up lost in the dictionary you would see Wade Phillips picture next to it. He just came out this week and stated that he has the best 1-4 team in the League. Wow. So, you're better than, oh wait, you're the only team at 1-4, there are others at 1-5 and 0-5, but you are the ONLY team at 1-4, Wade. Great job on those math skills, or even looking at a standings chart. The G-men come in with their 1st rated defensive line and get it done.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Week Six Picks
Well, four of the teams with little to no identity: Cardinals, Bills, Panthers and Bengals-(well, the Bengals have a loud-mouthed identity-not necessarily a playing identity) have the week off to get some things figured out. Or not. I don't really know what these people do in their spare time.
Let's try some picks this week, maybe there won't be as many upsets and I won't pick below .500 like I did last week. Ouch.
The Craptastic game of the week goes to:
Raiders @ 49ers
Blarg. Really? This game is going to exist? Okay, some say that it will be the perfect game for the 49ers to get their first win of the season against the other loser California team. But you know what? I think Tom Cable and the Raiders are more scared of Al Davis than Singletary is of getting fired by Jed York. I think the Black Hole comes in and takes the win.
Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Chargers @ Rams
The Rams have a talent shortage in their secondary, and Sam Bradford can only carry this team so far. The Chargers should be able to outscore the Rams if they don't have another special teams meltdown. Either way, both teams are carried on the shoulders of their QBs. I think the veteran QB comes out with the win.
Browns @ Steelers
This game will be the debut of two QBs in the regular season. Rookie Colt McCoy will get to struggle with the wonderful offensive line that Mangenius has assembled for him. And the Steelers get Big Dope back. Awesome. I still don't see why his suspension was reduced from six games to four-I personally could have gone this game and the next without seeing him and felt wholly better about the sport of football.
But the Steelers win. It is Mangenius they're facing, after all.
Chiefs @ Texans
The Texans showed up to beat the Colts in Week One, the Chiefs tried like hell to beat the Colts last week but didn't pull it off. Since Week Three when the Texans gave up the state rivalry in a major loss to the Cowboys they have lost their stride. I don't know if they'll have it at home in this game or not-but the Chiefs will come in with their same old underdog confidence. Chiefs win.
Lions @ Giants
The Lions put up a huge win last week, but I don't think it will be enough to compete against the G-men who are starting to turn things around for themselves. Hakeem Nicks is just playing too well and Coughlin may have figured out the play calling for this season.
Falcons @ Eagles
Mike Vick is excited to be playing in this game against his former team. I just don't think anyone can recover that quickly from having their cartilage separated from their rib cage. While he may play for a time, I don't think he'll last all game and Kolb will have to try to put points on the board. The Philly D also got burned last week in their win against the 49ers, and I don't think they'll be able to handle Roddy White and Tony Gonzalez this week. Plus, the Falcons actually have an offense unlike the Eagles' previous opponent. Falcons win.
Seahawks @ Bears
I cannot wait for the Bears to actually go up against a team that will give them trouble. The Hawks could if they were playing at home in Qwest Field, but they are a very different team on the road. Meanwhile the Bears continue to pat themselves on their fat backs after lucky wins against the Lions in Week One and the self destructing Pack in Week Three. Although the G-men's 9 sacks on Cutler in the first half of Week Four sort of made up for those two gimmie wins, I still think the Bears will have another gimmie win this week against the Seahawks. And Cutler is still a douchebag.
Saints @ Bucs
I don't foresee a repeat of the Super Bowl champs this year-they are definitely not the same team. The Bucs defense looks as though they've improved but they've played against the likes of QBs: Jake Delhomme, Matt Moore, Charlie Batch, and Carson Palmer. I think Drew Brees exposes the defense for who they really are this week. Saints win.
Jets @ Broncos
I picked the Broncos in Week Four to beat the Titans and they did. Screw the Jets, I'm picking the Broncos to win this week. They played tough against the Titans and the Ravens and Denver is painting the town orange for Sunday. The Jets will come in thinking they've got an easy win with their passer-QB combo in Santonio Holmes and Mark Sanchez. Ol' Wink Martindale will be up to the challenge in creating our defensive schemes. And Orton and our receivers will be able to take advantage of the Jets weak secondary.
Cowboys @ Vikings
Thirty other fan bases will enjoy the outcome of this game as one of these overrated teams goes to 1-4 and the other goes to 2-3. Both coaches are schmoes, Romo is overrated and Favre should have retired as a Packer and stayed retired as a frickin' Packer, any chance he had of a legacy has been wasted by his dramatic retirement and injury antics and now apparently someone out there has pictures of his meat stick on their phone. Amazing. I can't stand either of these teams at the moment, but I guess I'll take Wade Phillips and the Boys over Chilly and the Kings.
Colts @ Redsk!ns
Shanahan lost 6 of 8 games to the Colts and Peyton Manning when he was coaching the Denver Broncos. Those Broncos teams were also built better than the Sk!ns conglomerate he's just started working on. While the Colts are slowly fading, I think they'll come in to FedEx Field and take the win.
Titans @ Jaguars
The only thing potentially exciting in this game is that everyone in the AFC South is tied at 3-2. This game would decidedly give the edge to one of those four teams. I think the edge will go to the Titans this week as I just don't see the good David Garrard showing up three weeks in a row.
Fantastic Competition (hopefully) goes to:
Dolphins @ Packers
While the game is at Lambeau Field and the Pack have been playing well-they may be missing Aaron Rodgers this week and Nick Barnett probably for the season. I think the Fins will win this one simply because they are healthier.
Ravens @ Patriots
This week we'll see Aaron Hernandez emerge in the Patriots' passing game and some more shots of Tom Brady's freaky long hair. We'll also see the Ravens' defense continue to scare anyone on the offensive line of any team. Yet the Ravens' offense has struggled putting up the points, and the Pats haven't. Patriots win.
Let's try some picks this week, maybe there won't be as many upsets and I won't pick below .500 like I did last week. Ouch.
The Craptastic game of the week goes to:
Raiders @ 49ers
Blarg. Really? This game is going to exist? Okay, some say that it will be the perfect game for the 49ers to get their first win of the season against the other loser California team. But you know what? I think Tom Cable and the Raiders are more scared of Al Davis than Singletary is of getting fired by Jed York. I think the Black Hole comes in and takes the win.
Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Chargers @ Rams
The Rams have a talent shortage in their secondary, and Sam Bradford can only carry this team so far. The Chargers should be able to outscore the Rams if they don't have another special teams meltdown. Either way, both teams are carried on the shoulders of their QBs. I think the veteran QB comes out with the win.
Browns @ Steelers
This game will be the debut of two QBs in the regular season. Rookie Colt McCoy will get to struggle with the wonderful offensive line that Mangenius has assembled for him. And the Steelers get Big Dope back. Awesome. I still don't see why his suspension was reduced from six games to four-I personally could have gone this game and the next without seeing him and felt wholly better about the sport of football.
But the Steelers win. It is Mangenius they're facing, after all.
Chiefs @ Texans
The Texans showed up to beat the Colts in Week One, the Chiefs tried like hell to beat the Colts last week but didn't pull it off. Since Week Three when the Texans gave up the state rivalry in a major loss to the Cowboys they have lost their stride. I don't know if they'll have it at home in this game or not-but the Chiefs will come in with their same old underdog confidence. Chiefs win.
Lions @ Giants
The Lions put up a huge win last week, but I don't think it will be enough to compete against the G-men who are starting to turn things around for themselves. Hakeem Nicks is just playing too well and Coughlin may have figured out the play calling for this season.
Falcons @ Eagles
Mike Vick is excited to be playing in this game against his former team. I just don't think anyone can recover that quickly from having their cartilage separated from their rib cage. While he may play for a time, I don't think he'll last all game and Kolb will have to try to put points on the board. The Philly D also got burned last week in their win against the 49ers, and I don't think they'll be able to handle Roddy White and Tony Gonzalez this week. Plus, the Falcons actually have an offense unlike the Eagles' previous opponent. Falcons win.
Seahawks @ Bears
I cannot wait for the Bears to actually go up against a team that will give them trouble. The Hawks could if they were playing at home in Qwest Field, but they are a very different team on the road. Meanwhile the Bears continue to pat themselves on their fat backs after lucky wins against the Lions in Week One and the self destructing Pack in Week Three. Although the G-men's 9 sacks on Cutler in the first half of Week Four sort of made up for those two gimmie wins, I still think the Bears will have another gimmie win this week against the Seahawks. And Cutler is still a douchebag.
Saints @ Bucs
I don't foresee a repeat of the Super Bowl champs this year-they are definitely not the same team. The Bucs defense looks as though they've improved but they've played against the likes of QBs: Jake Delhomme, Matt Moore, Charlie Batch, and Carson Palmer. I think Drew Brees exposes the defense for who they really are this week. Saints win.
Jets @ Broncos
I picked the Broncos in Week Four to beat the Titans and they did. Screw the Jets, I'm picking the Broncos to win this week. They played tough against the Titans and the Ravens and Denver is painting the town orange for Sunday. The Jets will come in thinking they've got an easy win with their passer-QB combo in Santonio Holmes and Mark Sanchez. Ol' Wink Martindale will be up to the challenge in creating our defensive schemes. And Orton and our receivers will be able to take advantage of the Jets weak secondary.
Cowboys @ Vikings
Thirty other fan bases will enjoy the outcome of this game as one of these overrated teams goes to 1-4 and the other goes to 2-3. Both coaches are schmoes, Romo is overrated and Favre should have retired as a Packer and stayed retired as a frickin' Packer, any chance he had of a legacy has been wasted by his dramatic retirement and injury antics and now apparently someone out there has pictures of his meat stick on their phone. Amazing. I can't stand either of these teams at the moment, but I guess I'll take Wade Phillips and the Boys over Chilly and the Kings.
Colts @ Redsk!ns
Shanahan lost 6 of 8 games to the Colts and Peyton Manning when he was coaching the Denver Broncos. Those Broncos teams were also built better than the Sk!ns conglomerate he's just started working on. While the Colts are slowly fading, I think they'll come in to FedEx Field and take the win.
Titans @ Jaguars
The only thing potentially exciting in this game is that everyone in the AFC South is tied at 3-2. This game would decidedly give the edge to one of those four teams. I think the edge will go to the Titans this week as I just don't see the good David Garrard showing up three weeks in a row.
Fantastic Competition (hopefully) goes to:
Dolphins @ Packers
While the game is at Lambeau Field and the Pack have been playing well-they may be missing Aaron Rodgers this week and Nick Barnett probably for the season. I think the Fins will win this one simply because they are healthier.
Ravens @ Patriots
This week we'll see Aaron Hernandez emerge in the Patriots' passing game and some more shots of Tom Brady's freaky long hair. We'll also see the Ravens' defense continue to scare anyone on the offensive line of any team. Yet the Ravens' offense has struggled putting up the points, and the Pats haven't. Patriots win.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Week Five Picks
Three of the four teams heading into their bye week come in on a loss, at least the Dolphins, Steelers and Seahawks have a week to lick their wounds and come back strong. The Patriots beat the Dolphins handily, so this week is probably more vacation for the veterans and workouts for the rookies. By the way, if the Steelers had a bye in Week 5 anyway, and Worthlessburger's suspension hadn't been reduced from six games to four, he wouldn't have returned to the NFL until Week 7. I still think it would have been appropriate and it's not as though the Steelers are hurting without him anyway, they are 3-1.
Anywho, the craptastic games of the week go to:
Jaguars @ Bills
Besides running across a facebook group this week that wants the Buffalo Bills to be renamed the Buffalo Bison and finding that completely ridiculous, hilarious, and redundant, that's about all this game inspires for me. The Jags show up to play once in awhile when they are at home, and the Bills are due for a win since they are 0-4 and this is one of the teams they can actually beat. Bills win.
Rams @ Lions
I think both teams have improved since last year, but I also think they are still at the bottom of the NFL. The Lions have played as competitive as the Rams, but they are 1-3 while the Rams are 2-2. Also, the three games the Lions lost have been one score games, and all of them have been on the road. I take the Lions at home.
Buccaneers @ Bengals
The Bengals win ugly, and lost uglier last week to the Browns. I think they play with a vengeance this week and take it out on the Bucs. Bengals win at home.
Falcons @ Browns
The Falcons haven't showcased themselves this season like they did in 2009 and Mangenius is still the head coach of the Browns. I think the Falcons will be able to edge out a win, especially since Delhomme is likely to play at QB for the Browns.
Not craptastic but not fantastic:
Broncos @ Ravens
I think if Denver had a running game then they may be able to get something done against the Ravens. Alas, the offensive scheme relies solely on Orton's arm and his merry band of receivers. I don't think Baltimore's defense is going to give ol' Ortie time to find the open man down field. I guess I have to pick Baltimore.
Chiefs @ Colts
The Chiefs are coming off their bye week and a fun-filled 3-0 start. The Colts are 2-2 in their division and a game behind the Texans. I don't think Peyton Manning will let this game get away from him at home and though I'm rooting for the underdog, I think the Colts will get it done.
Bears @ Panthers
I laughed heartily each of the nine times Cutler was sacked last week (in the first half of the game). This week the Bears are playing QB Todd Collins instead and they're facing the rookie Jimmy Clausen. I think this is a must-win game for the Panthers since their 0-4 start and I think Clausen can outplay Collins. Panthers for their first win of the season.
Giants @ Texans
The Texans had no problems beating up on big brother Manning in Week One, and I'm sure they won't have a problem beating up on little brother Manning in Week Five. The Texans are solid on all sides of the ball and will probably make it to the playoffs this year. The Giants have some relief since their win last week at home against the Bears and won't play as aggressive as they can. Texans win.
Saints @ Cardinals
The Saints have lost their 2009 mojo, and the Cards are starting their rookie QB Max Hall after things didn't work out so well with Derek Anderson. (Gee, who didn't see that one coming.) I think Brees gets the job done in the desert. Saints win.
Titans @ Cowboys
The Titans aren't the team everyone thought they would be and neither are the Cowboys. The Boys are coming off their bye week rested and maybe, just maybe, Wade Phillips has figured out that he isn't in Kansas anymore and that he's in the Big D coaching football. (Well, the coaching part may be stretching it as lost as he's looked as of late.) I think Phillips and Roschmoe get it done at home since Chris Johnson doesn't have an offensive line to run through.
Chargers @ Raiders
The Raiders are the same old Raiders and Philip Rivers still haunts me. I think Rivers' passing attack will win out over the Raiders in the Black Hole and Tom Cable's job security for an entire season starts hanging in the balance. (Read Emperor Palpatine-er, I mean Al Davis, will not be pleased.)
Eagles @ 49ers
This game just about made it to the craptastic section because of the 49ers. But everyone is still holding out hope for them simply because the rest of their division is at 2-2 and these are the 49ers that everyone said would dominate the NFC West. I still think the Eagles come in to Candlestick and take home the win. (Yes, even with Kevin Kolb, Philly fans, he was your starting QB before Vick's first game of starting QB that resulted in injury. He can get the job done.)
The sort-of fantastic section of the week goes to:
Packers @ Redsk!ns
I think if the Sk!ns actually show up to play this could be a good game. I still think that the Pack is motivated enough to pull out the win though.
Vikings @ Jets
Coach Chilly thinks that if he gets as many veterans on his team as possible he couldn't possibly screw up the win, right? Wrong, Chilly, you still need to coach you bald weirdo. And no matter how big Randy Moss is or how high his jump or how long his reach, he still can't save Favre from throwing those INTs. Repeatedly. The Jets will be more than happy to pounce on the #4 who came in for four months and just as quickly retreated. Especially with Calvin Pace and Darrel Revis back in the game. Jets win.
Anywho, the craptastic games of the week go to:
Jaguars @ Bills
Besides running across a facebook group this week that wants the Buffalo Bills to be renamed the Buffalo Bison and finding that completely ridiculous, hilarious, and redundant, that's about all this game inspires for me. The Jags show up to play once in awhile when they are at home, and the Bills are due for a win since they are 0-4 and this is one of the teams they can actually beat. Bills win.
Rams @ Lions
I think both teams have improved since last year, but I also think they are still at the bottom of the NFL. The Lions have played as competitive as the Rams, but they are 1-3 while the Rams are 2-2. Also, the three games the Lions lost have been one score games, and all of them have been on the road. I take the Lions at home.
Buccaneers @ Bengals
The Bengals win ugly, and lost uglier last week to the Browns. I think they play with a vengeance this week and take it out on the Bucs. Bengals win at home.
Falcons @ Browns
The Falcons haven't showcased themselves this season like they did in 2009 and Mangenius is still the head coach of the Browns. I think the Falcons will be able to edge out a win, especially since Delhomme is likely to play at QB for the Browns.
Not craptastic but not fantastic:
Broncos @ Ravens
I think if Denver had a running game then they may be able to get something done against the Ravens. Alas, the offensive scheme relies solely on Orton's arm and his merry band of receivers. I don't think Baltimore's defense is going to give ol' Ortie time to find the open man down field. I guess I have to pick Baltimore.
Chiefs @ Colts
The Chiefs are coming off their bye week and a fun-filled 3-0 start. The Colts are 2-2 in their division and a game behind the Texans. I don't think Peyton Manning will let this game get away from him at home and though I'm rooting for the underdog, I think the Colts will get it done.
Bears @ Panthers
I laughed heartily each of the nine times Cutler was sacked last week (in the first half of the game). This week the Bears are playing QB Todd Collins instead and they're facing the rookie Jimmy Clausen. I think this is a must-win game for the Panthers since their 0-4 start and I think Clausen can outplay Collins. Panthers for their first win of the season.
Giants @ Texans
The Texans had no problems beating up on big brother Manning in Week One, and I'm sure they won't have a problem beating up on little brother Manning in Week Five. The Texans are solid on all sides of the ball and will probably make it to the playoffs this year. The Giants have some relief since their win last week at home against the Bears and won't play as aggressive as they can. Texans win.
Saints @ Cardinals
The Saints have lost their 2009 mojo, and the Cards are starting their rookie QB Max Hall after things didn't work out so well with Derek Anderson. (Gee, who didn't see that one coming.) I think Brees gets the job done in the desert. Saints win.
Titans @ Cowboys
The Titans aren't the team everyone thought they would be and neither are the Cowboys. The Boys are coming off their bye week rested and maybe, just maybe, Wade Phillips has figured out that he isn't in Kansas anymore and that he's in the Big D coaching football. (Well, the coaching part may be stretching it as lost as he's looked as of late.) I think Phillips and Roschmoe get it done at home since Chris Johnson doesn't have an offensive line to run through.
Chargers @ Raiders
The Raiders are the same old Raiders and Philip Rivers still haunts me. I think Rivers' passing attack will win out over the Raiders in the Black Hole and Tom Cable's job security for an entire season starts hanging in the balance. (Read Emperor Palpatine-er, I mean Al Davis, will not be pleased.)
Eagles @ 49ers
This game just about made it to the craptastic section because of the 49ers. But everyone is still holding out hope for them simply because the rest of their division is at 2-2 and these are the 49ers that everyone said would dominate the NFC West. I still think the Eagles come in to Candlestick and take home the win. (Yes, even with Kevin Kolb, Philly fans, he was your starting QB before Vick's first game of starting QB that resulted in injury. He can get the job done.)
The sort-of fantastic section of the week goes to:
Packers @ Redsk!ns
I think if the Sk!ns actually show up to play this could be a good game. I still think that the Pack is motivated enough to pull out the win though.
Vikings @ Jets
Coach Chilly thinks that if he gets as many veterans on his team as possible he couldn't possibly screw up the win, right? Wrong, Chilly, you still need to coach you bald weirdo. And no matter how big Randy Moss is or how high his jump or how long his reach, he still can't save Favre from throwing those INTs. Repeatedly. The Jets will be more than happy to pounce on the #4 who came in for four months and just as quickly retreated. Especially with Calvin Pace and Darrel Revis back in the game. Jets win.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Pam Oliver Interviews Michael Vick on NFL on FOX
Friday, October 1, 2010
Week Four Picks
It's a good thing it's a bye week for the Cowboys and Vikings who finally won a game in Week Three. Maybe they can look at how they played versus getting trampled in the first two weeks and make something out of this season. The Bucs enter the bye week with their first loss of the season, but it was to a solid Steelers team. They and the Chiefs, who are 3-0, probably don't have much to worry about except having a good time at practice in their bye week.
Craptastic Section:
Bengals @ Browns
The Bengals win ugly and the Browns are just ugly. While a few analysts are picking this game as the upset of the week; I just don't think Mangenius can muster that kind of a game, even if his team is playing at home. I think the Bengals will go up 3-1 and T.O. will still be bitching about his offensive line.
Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Jets @ Bills
The Bills 3-4 defense falls apart steadily throughout the game. The Jets offense finally figured out after Week One what they were made of. The Jets will easily take down their division rival.
Broncos @ Titans
My beloved Broncos lead the league in passing yards, but we just can't score. The Titans play well when Vince Young is in a good mood. Otherwise the relief QB Kerry Collins gets thrown in there. I'm hoping Young is in a bad mood. I'm also hoping Champ Bailey and Andre Goodman shut Chris Johnson down. I take the Broncos to win.
Lions @ Packers
I would have loved to have seen a competitive Lions team with Stafford at the helm. Alas, that will still be a few more weeks. The Lions are also playing their division rival at home who just lost a huge game Monday Night to a different division rival. The Packers will be playing angry and won't commit the same amount of atrocious penalties as when they played the Bears last week. Pack wins.
49ers @ Falcons
The Falcons are playing hard to be a competitor in their division. The 49ers are playing frustrated, but the frustration that makes mistakes, not motivates. And they're on the road. With a new offensive coordinator. Falcons win.
Panthers @ Saints
Even with Jimmy Clausen at the helm, the Panthers are facing a Saints team that just lost a game in their division in overtime... at home. The Saints will be playing with a vengeance and the Panthers don't stand a chance. Saints win.
Seahawks @ Rams
The Hawks have demonstrated that they are a very different team on the road than when they play at home with the 12th man. Even though Seattle has better defense and special teams, the Rams desperately want to go 2-2, and the Sk!ns only gave them confidence last week. Rams win.
Colts @ Jaguars
David Garrard is slowly falling apart at QB, the newly acquired Trent Edwards from the Buffalo Bills isn't ready to take on the responsibility of this offense yet. And they face Peyton Manning and the Colts. Colts win.
Texans @ Raiders
Those poor little Raiders, they face a Texan team who just lost a major game last week to their state rival, the Cowboys. The Texans will come to town and give the Black Hole a Black Eye. Texans win.
Cardinals @ Chargers
The Cards are confused about their identity. The only saving grace for the Chargers is Philip Rivers, (even if he is a douche, he is a talented douche). The Chargers passing attack will run rampant over this Cardinals team. Chargers win.
Bears @ Giants
The G-men are on a losing streak of 2 games. The Bears are playing under the pretense that they are actually good. I bet the false confidence wins out over playing lost at home. Bears win.
Fantastic Competition:
Ravens @ Steelers
The Ravens and Steelers have excellent defenses, but the Steelers offense is also able to put up more points than the Ravens. I bet the Steelers go 4-0 without that big dope at QB.
Redsk!ns @ Eagles
If this was a game solely about QBs, then I think McNabb would win against his former Eagles team and Michael Vick. However, it is not, and last week McNabb had to sit on the sideline while his defense gave up 30 points to a below average Rams team. I think Vick and the Eagles will get it done at home.
Patriots @ Dolphins
An intense division rivalry, and both teams have recent losses to the Jets, one of the other division rivals. The Dolphins want to avoid going 0-2 at home against their division rivals, and the Pats want to avoid going 0-2 against division rivals. I'll take the uneven Dolphins' offense against a young Patriot defense.
Craptastic Section:
Bengals @ Browns
The Bengals win ugly and the Browns are just ugly. While a few analysts are picking this game as the upset of the week; I just don't think Mangenius can muster that kind of a game, even if his team is playing at home. I think the Bengals will go up 3-1 and T.O. will still be bitching about his offensive line.
Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Jets @ Bills
The Bills 3-4 defense falls apart steadily throughout the game. The Jets offense finally figured out after Week One what they were made of. The Jets will easily take down their division rival.
Broncos @ Titans
My beloved Broncos lead the league in passing yards, but we just can't score. The Titans play well when Vince Young is in a good mood. Otherwise the relief QB Kerry Collins gets thrown in there. I'm hoping Young is in a bad mood. I'm also hoping Champ Bailey and Andre Goodman shut Chris Johnson down. I take the Broncos to win.
Lions @ Packers
I would have loved to have seen a competitive Lions team with Stafford at the helm. Alas, that will still be a few more weeks. The Lions are also playing their division rival at home who just lost a huge game Monday Night to a different division rival. The Packers will be playing angry and won't commit the same amount of atrocious penalties as when they played the Bears last week. Pack wins.
49ers @ Falcons
The Falcons are playing hard to be a competitor in their division. The 49ers are playing frustrated, but the frustration that makes mistakes, not motivates. And they're on the road. With a new offensive coordinator. Falcons win.
Panthers @ Saints
Even with Jimmy Clausen at the helm, the Panthers are facing a Saints team that just lost a game in their division in overtime... at home. The Saints will be playing with a vengeance and the Panthers don't stand a chance. Saints win.
Seahawks @ Rams
The Hawks have demonstrated that they are a very different team on the road than when they play at home with the 12th man. Even though Seattle has better defense and special teams, the Rams desperately want to go 2-2, and the Sk!ns only gave them confidence last week. Rams win.
Colts @ Jaguars
David Garrard is slowly falling apart at QB, the newly acquired Trent Edwards from the Buffalo Bills isn't ready to take on the responsibility of this offense yet. And they face Peyton Manning and the Colts. Colts win.
Texans @ Raiders
Those poor little Raiders, they face a Texan team who just lost a major game last week to their state rival, the Cowboys. The Texans will come to town and give the Black Hole a Black Eye. Texans win.
Cardinals @ Chargers
The Cards are confused about their identity. The only saving grace for the Chargers is Philip Rivers, (even if he is a douche, he is a talented douche). The Chargers passing attack will run rampant over this Cardinals team. Chargers win.
Bears @ Giants
The G-men are on a losing streak of 2 games. The Bears are playing under the pretense that they are actually good. I bet the false confidence wins out over playing lost at home. Bears win.
Fantastic Competition:
Ravens @ Steelers
The Ravens and Steelers have excellent defenses, but the Steelers offense is also able to put up more points than the Ravens. I bet the Steelers go 4-0 without that big dope at QB.
Redsk!ns @ Eagles
If this was a game solely about QBs, then I think McNabb would win against his former Eagles team and Michael Vick. However, it is not, and last week McNabb had to sit on the sideline while his defense gave up 30 points to a below average Rams team. I think Vick and the Eagles will get it done at home.
Patriots @ Dolphins
An intense division rivalry, and both teams have recent losses to the Jets, one of the other division rivals. The Dolphins want to avoid going 0-2 at home against their division rivals, and the Pats want to avoid going 0-2 against division rivals. I'll take the uneven Dolphins' offense against a young Patriot defense.
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