Week Nine Picks

On bye this week are the Broncos, Jaguars, 49ers, Redsk!ns, Rams and Titans. And fan bases of five of six of these teams are grateful they get a week off from the endless torture that is their season and team's playing ability.

Everyone else, it's time for the craptastic games of the week:
Bears vs. Bills @ Toronto
The Bills "other" home is hosting the Bears, a self-delusional team who actually thinks they are good. The Bills have taken quality teams to overtime the last two weeks and are hungry for a win. I say they get it done today and avoid going 0-16.

Bucs @ Falcons
When the Falcons played well last year, they were exciting. Since I never know who's going to show up week to week from this team, it lands itself in the craptastic section when they're playing the Bucs; regardless of Raheem Morris believing he has the best team in the NFC. Maybe he should check to see exactly what teams his wins came against, and then rethink that thought. Falcons win at home.

Not craptastic but not fantastic:
Patriots @ Browns
Mangenius and the Browns stunned most of the nation when they upset the Saints a couple of weeks ago. That won't happen when Belichick and the Pats come to town. In fact, I bet Mangenius craps his pants at the sight of his former boss. And this game probably won't end in an awkward former employee man-bear hug type of thing on Belichick's part. Pats win.

Chargers @ Texans
The Texans knew how to win in Week One against the Colts at home, they have since mellowed out in their competitive edge. The Chargers aren't sure what's up or down except that their QB can throw. I'm not entirely positive which team will win this one, but I'll pick the Texans to win at home and the Chargers to wallow in the depths of the AFC West with the Broncos.

Cardinals @ Vikings
I and several Vikings fans are hoping that Favre and Childo lose today so that Childo loses his job in the week to come. (Read: Zigi Wylf didn't care for Childo letting Randy Moss go.) Even if the Cards still have no real identity or QB, (maybe they could convince Kurt Warner to come back) I'm hoping they stomp the Vikes and send Childo packing.

Saints @ Panthers
The Saints may have lost their touch this season, but they'll get it done today against the Panthers.

Giants @ Seahawks
The Giants are exciting to watch once again this season as they head into Qwest Field. While the Seahawks are unbeaten at home largely due to their 12th man, I think they'll face tough competition today if Eli doesn't get too frazzled. G-men win on the road.

Cowboys @ Packers
Jerry Jones will get to apologize again this week for the Dallas Cowboys. The Packers will enjoy the opportunity of sharpening their skills on a bad team-it's kind of like a scrimmage day for the ol' Pack. Cheeseheads win.

Steelers @ Bengals
Even though the Bengals swept the Steelers last season-they aren't the same team. (Maybe there are too many loudmouths on the bench?) Steelers get it done in Monday Night Football.

Fantastic Competition:
Jets @ Lions
I honestly do think the Lions will make this a tough game at home-but the Jets will still pull out a win.

Dolphins @ Ravens
When the Ravens defense shows up to play, they play hard. When the Ravens offense shows up to play... oh, they haven't shown up yet. The Dolphins have been playing hard all season long on both sides of the ball and will move to 5-0 on the road after today's game.

Colts @ Eagles
At first blush, I would take Manning over Vick, however, considering Andy Reid's record of 11-0 after the bye week, I'm going with the Eagles at home.

Chiefs @ Raiders
Whoah. Is this the advent of Armageddon? The world ending? WTF? The Chiefs have been a solid team all season and the Raiders have recently steamrolled the Broncos and Seahawks by some embarrassing combined score of 92-17 or some crap. If the Raiders win this game, they'll still be in contention for the AFC West, if the Chiefs win, they'll have a comfortable lead in the division. Since I'm not sure which Raiders team will show up this week, (and I sincerely hope it's the bad one) I'll take the Chiefs to win on the road. I dislike them a little less than the Raiders.