Thursday, November 25, 2010

Week Twelve Picks

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We are treated to three games today, and while the Lions probably won't be able to turn it around, the Cowboys sure have, and the other home team, the Jets, will probably come out with the win. Let's get down to the craptastic games of the week.

Our Craptastics of the Week:
Panthers @ Browns
The Panthers still haven't figured out what the game of football is this season and the Browns have shown signs of life out of their coach in Mangenius. I bet the Browns easily win this one at home this week.

Rams @ Broncos
The winless on the road Rams head into Mile High this week against a Broncos team that still hasn't developed an identity. And if you ever look at their coach on the sidelines he has a pretty confused look on his face as he thumbs through his playbook. Still I'm going to give the Broncos the win at home since they may show up to play like they did against the Chiefs.

Bucs @ Ravens
The Bucs are starting to play with proficiency and consistency, while the Ravens defense is sliding into mediocrity with its offense. I'll take the upset this week and go with the Bucs.

49ers @ Cardinals
This is our Monday Night game? It'll be a good thing I'll still be in a food and family coma from the Thanksgiving weekend. I think the Cardinals will win this one at home.

Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Bengals @ Jets
The Bengals are a bombastic bunch but certainly don't back up what they say. The Jets have been pretty solid and will easily win this one at home tonight.

Titans @ Texans
The Texans started off the season pretty strong but have lost some of their identity along the way. The Titans started the season off with Vince Young but have lost him due to his attitude problems along the way. The Texans will easily win this one at home against a QB that struggled in his first NFL outing. (And I can't even remember his name.)

Vikings @ Redsk!ns
I'll be slightly amused by Leslie Frazier being able to turn around team purple in a week like Jason Garrett was able to do for the Cowboys. However, since I don't honestly think that will happen twice in a season, I bet Shanny and the Sk!ns take the win at home.

Steelers @ Bills
Maybe I'm giving the Bills more credit than they deserve, but I think they should be able to stay competitive with the Steelers. I don't think they'll win, but it should be a decent game.

Jags @ Giants
Both of these teams have been running hot and cold this year, but I think the Giants will be able to pull out the win at home this week.

Dolphins @ Raiders
The Raiders run hot and cold. Brandon Marshall runs hot and cold. I think these teams will be pretty evenly matched in the Black Hole since both Chads are injured for the Fish. Unfortunately the Raiders will pull out the win.

Chiefs @ Seahawks
It's a battle of the two teams who consistently win the assistance of their twelfth man. The advantage and the win will go to the Hawks this week.

Eagles @ Bears
The Bears have had an easy schedule and a couple of lucky wins. They should get exposed this week as Vick and the Eagles roll into town. Eagles win.

Fantastic Competition:
Patriots @ Lions
While I think the Patriots will have a difficult time winning this one on the road, I think that mad genius Belichick will still find a way to stymie the Lions in the last minutes of the game and pull out the win.

Saints @ Cowboys
Another Thanksgiving treat! A couple of weeks ago I would have easily given this win to the Saints, but given Garrett's ability to inspire the Cowboys and the fact they are playing at home I think the Boys will win.

Packers @ Falcons
A battle between a couple of the toughest NFC teams, but I still think the Pack will be able to pull out the win on the road. Aaron Rodgers is on fire, and their defense has Clay Matthews all over it.

Chargers @ Colts
The only thing Norvert Turner has going for his team is his QB in Philip Rivers. A competitive loudmouth that could really fit in with the likes of those on the Bengals, (and then maybe the Bengals would be good). QB Peyton Manning won't let Rivers get under his skin and will win once again at Lucas Oil Stadium.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Pam Oliver Grills Jerry Jones with Tough Questions

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-us&amp;brand=foxsports&amp;playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:7248cab1-e1bc-461e-aa7f-32b0de9e0130&amp;showPlaylist=true&amp;from=IV2_en-us_foxsports_videosearch&amp;fg=RAMP" target="_new" title="Pam Oliver: Jerry Jones bonus">Video: Pam Oliver: Jerry Jones bonus</a>

Week Eleven Picks

Coming to you later than usual due to a power outage in our area, here are this week's picks.

The Craptastics:
Ravens @ Panthers
The only interesting part of the Ravens is their defense; when Ray Lewis flies around the field knocking the hell out of people. The Panthers, just aren't interesting. Ravens will have an easy win on the road.

Bills @ Bengals
It's a meeting of the blah vs. the bombastic blah. Yay. Bengals win at home.

Lions @ Cowboys
The Cowboys showed up looking like a new team last week under Garrett. The Lions are also 2-7, and while a better team than maybe last season, they still don't get it. I'm not sure what the Cowboys will be up to this week, but they will try for a solid home win. I'm picking the Boys.

Browns @ Jags
These two have better records than most would give them credit for, but they still don't play that consistently or cleanly. I'll take the Jags to win at home.

Bucs @ 49ers
The Bucs have a better record coming into this game, but the 49ers may have something figured out this week and could get it done at home.

Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Cards @ Chiefs
The Chiefs and Todd Haley were humiliated at Mile High last week and Haley proved it by being a poor sport at the end of the game and scolded McDaniels instead of shaking his hand. They must have expected to come into Denver and mow over the Broncos. (And after Denver's previous two pitiful games-who could blame them.) The Chiefs won't let that happen to them at home this week and will easily dominate the Cards.

Raiders @ Steelers
The Raiders may be on a three game winning streak, but I don't think it will extend to four at Heinz Field. The Black Hole play a little too sporadically to play a tough (albeit injured) Steelers team. Pittsburgh wins at home.

Redsk!ns @ Titans
The Sk!ns were humiliated at home on MNF as Vick and the Eagles controlled every aspect of the game. Shanny and his team won't find it any easier this week as they head into Tennessee to take on Fisher and the Titans. Titans easily win at home.

Seahawks @ Saints
The Hawks win consistently at home. The Saints have a good chance of not being repeat Super Bowl champs. Nonetheless, they will win at home.

Falcons @ Rams
While the Rams play well at home, they don't have the right formula quite yet to be consistently successful. The Falcons will win on the road.

Broncos @ Chargers
Sure, it's a division rivalry. And yes, it is the MNF game. Much to the chagrin of Broncos and Chargers fans everywhere. (Do we really want the eyes of the nation on our teams when they suck?) The Broncos actually showed up to play last week, so screw it, I'll pick them to win on the road. And I may regret it.

Some Fantastic Competition (hopefully):
Bears @ Dolphins
The Fish won their first game at home this week, and I'm thinking that tonight they'll push that win streak to an amazing 2.

Pack @ Vikings
I laughed heartily when these two teams last played at Lambeau Field. I really thought it would be Favre's last game as he hobbled off the field with his two fractures in his ankle-or whatever. Short of becoming bionic man, I don't think he'll make it much longer. It's a good thing the Vikings play in a dome so that arthritis doesn't set in their QB's stressed joints. I still think the Pack will come out with a win.

Texans @ Jets
I realize that the Texans aren't the most reliable team. If they show up with the passion to play, they could provide a challenge to the Jets. I still think the Jets have the best chance of getting the win.

Colts @ Pats
Another couple of AFC powerhouse teams-this game will be close-only a score apart. If Caldwell loosens the reins and allows Manning to control the game how he wants instead of letting him get frustrated, the Colts can eke out the win.

Giants @ Eagles
The G-men were genuinely surprised by the Cowboys last week, and the Sk!ns were genuinely surprised by the Eagles. I think the Eagles will continue their hot streak at home. Though I don't think Vick will have the same breakout game that he did against the Sk!ns.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Week Ten Picks

Coming to you a few days earlier this week because there's THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL ON TONIGHT! On bye this week is one team I've actually enjoyed watching this season, the Packers, the others are the Saints, Raiders, and Chargers. The latter two will be laughing at Sunday's game when the Chiefs play at the Broncos-no doubt.

The Craptastic games of the week go to:
Lions @ Bills
The Bills have lost their last three games by a field goal, and all to pretty good teams. This is their last chance to win a game all season and I bet they get it done against Shaun Hill and the Lions.

Panthers @ Bucs
The Panthers have lost all the games they're supposed to, the Bucs have won all the games they were supposed to, and they'll win this one at home. Even though Jimmy Clausen is back in for the Panthers.

Chiefs @ Broncos
Division rivalry! Woohoo! That being said, even though the Broncos are coming off a bye week, they lost horribly to the Raiders and then the 49ers in London two weeks prior to their bye. The Chiefs have remained fairly consistent and look to take the AFC West division this season. The Chiefs will win at Mile High.

Seahawks @ Cardinals
The Seahawks may not play that well on the road, but it's not as though the Cardinals are that difficult of a team. Hasselbeck is back from his injury and will be able to complete a pass unlike Derek Anderson. This will be the difference maker in two teams who are similar in 3rd down conversions, time of possession, and total yards per game. Hawks for the win.

Rams @ 49ers
The Rams lead this division by 1/2 game, and the 49ers are only 2 games off the lead. The Rams are also 0-3 on the road, and after this game they'll be 0-4.

Not Craptastic but not Fantastic:
Vikings @ Bears
The Vikings are as good as their record suggests, and the Bears have had wins handed to them by their opponents' ability to beat themselves. The Bears enter this week still under the illusion that they are good, and the Vikings have momentum after their comeback OT win last week. (Against the Cards, I might add). Favre may be the douchiest drama queen of the NFL-but he can probably beat CutINTler and the Bears.

Bengals @ Colts
Ocho Cinco admitted that the Bengals were probably the laughing stocks of the NFL right now. Since no one really wants to argue that point-especially after watching him gain yards in Monday Night's game and then proceed to spike the ball giving his team a penalty-we can readily agree with his statement. Look for Peyton Manning to be his usual stolid self at Lucas Oil Stadium and win this one handily.

Texans @ Jaguars
Two division rivals without a secondary. Sweet. I'll take Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, and Arian Foster over the hot and cold David Garrard and Mike Sims-Walker most days of the week. Texans win.

Cowboys @ Giants
I'm really liking the way the Giants are playing right now-and normally this would be a good game except the Cowboys are a steaming pile of poo. Jason Garrett has been part of the problem at Dallas this season and I don't think he'll be able to pull the team out of the bowels of the NFL in a week or ever. Phillips took the fall because he had to-but there should be many more people accountable in Dallas for this team. (Ahem, Jerry Jones). G-men easily win at home.

Fantastic Competition (hopefully):
Ravens @ Falcons
Did I mention that it's time for THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL?!!! We get a competitive game this week with the Ravens at the Falcons. Both teams are at 6-2, and while the Ravens have played tougher teams than the Falcons thus far, Baltimore's offense doesn't get as many points on the board. I'm going with the better offense at home for the win.

Jets @ Browns
The Browns in the competitive section? WHAT?! Um, yeah, while I have made fun of Mangenius and the Browns the majority of this season-they went out and proved me wrong against the Patriots and the Saints. Their offense is starting to come around with their gadget plays and Colt McCoy and defensive coordinator Rob Ryan should have a few tricks in store for his twin brother and Jets head coach Rex Ryan. I'll take the Browns to surprise the Jets with a win at home.

Titans @ Dolphins
The Dolphins will be dusting off the other Chad this week (Henne instead of Pennington, that is) and the Titans will continue with their somewhat-sort of stable QB Vince Young. While Henne typically has more passing yards per average, the Titans as a whole this season score more points and have more rushing yardage. The Dolphins won't win their first game at home until next Thursday night when they host the Bears. Titans win.

Patriots @ Steelers
A couple of AFC powerhouses, but while the Patriots are in rebuild mode with their younger version of a team, the Steelers are running hot and experienced and will win easily at home.

Eagles @ Redsk!ns
I'm not sure how competitive this Monday Night matchup will be-but it will be oh so dramatic when McNabb's old team comes to town. Look for Vick to light it up against the Sk!ns defense and Haynesworthless to get tired easily. Eagles for the win.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Week Nine Picks

On bye this week are the Broncos, Jaguars, 49ers, Redsk!ns, Rams and Titans. And fan bases of five of six of these teams are grateful they get a week off from the endless torture that is their season and team's playing ability.

Everyone else, it's time for the craptastic games of the week:
Bears vs. Bills @ Toronto
The Bills "other" home is hosting the Bears, a self-delusional team who actually thinks they are good. The Bills have taken quality teams to overtime the last two weeks and are hungry for a win. I say they get it done today and avoid going 0-16.

Bucs @ Falcons
When the Falcons played well last year, they were exciting. Since I never know who's going to show up week to week from this team, it lands itself in the craptastic section when they're playing the Bucs; regardless of Raheem Morris believing he has the best team in the NFC. Maybe he should check to see exactly what teams his wins came against, and then rethink that thought. Falcons win at home.

Not craptastic but not fantastic:
Patriots @ Browns
Mangenius and the Browns stunned most of the nation when they upset the Saints a couple of weeks ago. That won't happen when Belichick and the Pats come to town. In fact, I bet Mangenius craps his pants at the sight of his former boss. And this game probably won't end in an awkward former employee man-bear hug type of thing on Belichick's part. Pats win.

Chargers @ Texans
The Texans knew how to win in Week One against the Colts at home, they have since mellowed out in their competitive edge. The Chargers aren't sure what's up or down except that their QB can throw. I'm not entirely positive which team will win this one, but I'll pick the Texans to win at home and the Chargers to wallow in the depths of the AFC West with the Broncos.

Cardinals @ Vikings
I and several Vikings fans are hoping that Favre and Childo lose today so that Childo loses his job in the week to come. (Read: Zigi Wylf didn't care for Childo letting Randy Moss go.) Even if the Cards still have no real identity or QB, (maybe they could convince Kurt Warner to come back) I'm hoping they stomp the Vikes and send Childo packing.

Saints @ Panthers
The Saints may have lost their touch this season, but they'll get it done today against the Panthers.

Giants @ Seahawks
The Giants are exciting to watch once again this season as they head into Qwest Field. While the Seahawks are unbeaten at home largely due to their 12th man, I think they'll face tough competition today if Eli doesn't get too frazzled. G-men win on the road.

Cowboys @ Packers
Jerry Jones will get to apologize again this week for the Dallas Cowboys. The Packers will enjoy the opportunity of sharpening their skills on a bad team-it's kind of like a scrimmage day for the ol' Pack. Cheeseheads win.

Steelers @ Bengals
Even though the Bengals swept the Steelers last season-they aren't the same team. (Maybe there are too many loudmouths on the bench?) Steelers get it done in Monday Night Football.

Fantastic Competition:
Jets @ Lions
I honestly do think the Lions will make this a tough game at home-but the Jets will still pull out a win.

Dolphins @ Ravens
When the Ravens defense shows up to play, they play hard. When the Ravens offense shows up to play... oh, they haven't shown up yet. The Dolphins have been playing hard all season long on both sides of the ball and will move to 5-0 on the road after today's game.

Colts @ Eagles
At first blush, I would take Manning over Vick, however, considering Andy Reid's record of 11-0 after the bye week, I'm going with the Eagles at home.

Chiefs @ Raiders
Whoah. Is this the advent of Armageddon? The world ending? WTF? The Chiefs have been a solid team all season and the Raiders have recently steamrolled the Broncos and Seahawks by some embarrassing combined score of 92-17 or some crap. If the Raiders win this game, they'll still be in contention for the AFC West, if the Chiefs win, they'll have a comfortable lead in the division. Since I'm not sure which Raiders team will show up this week, (and I sincerely hope it's the bad one) I'll take the Chiefs to win on the road. I dislike them a little less than the Raiders.